Spilled Milk

My shaky, nervy hands betrayed me this morning. They lost their grip on a bowl I was carrying to the couch. It was filled with a Keto cereal and ultra processed milk, both a concession to my age and my pursuit of a healthier lifestyle. The release of the bowl was inevitable since in past two weeks my hands have become twitchy, strong and solid at times but also filled with an unseen alternating current of electricity that I cannot control. I am once again struggling with lower back issues which are impacting my right leg and hip. I am not sure if the onset of my hand shaking is tied to this new round of back problems but somehow, they have their genesis at the same time. 

I look at my hands freckled with brown liver spots and wrinkled contours, and wonder if the slippage this morning is foreshadowing of things to come or if it is a one off, a reminder that mortality means a slow degradation of one’s self. I can truly sense my mental deterioration: leaving my cell phone in the golf cart, forgetting name, dates, places, what I went into the room for, my mind distracted by an object that conjures up an additional undone task. My body is yielding to time but my hands had remained secure until recent days. I can see them visibly waver, dancing to an unheard tune, moving without guidance from my brain. 

As I swept up the remnants of the cracked bowl, cereal and milk, I wondered how many more times will I have to clean up a mess I have made due to an unreliable grip. A simple motor skill is becoming a task that requires my full attention. As I draw closer to Life’s finish line, I will no longer take for granted simple daily mundane tasks. As I regress, I become more infantile, while life ushers me backwards to what I once was, however robbed of the innocence that marked me as a child. Throughout this process of living, I remain tethered to the Truth and Hope of salvation by way of faith in Christ Jesus. As my body fails, my faith in Jesus increases since my own ability is diminished. I reside in skin, that is easily bruised and torn, which houses my eternal spirit. Linked to Christ by faith, my spirit longs for heaven and the unending joy and worship I will be able to participate in my new, whole body, made in the likeness of Christ.