Frozen, White, Quiet and Still

I hide from you like snow on the north side of a hill

Frozen, white, quiet and still.

Fearing that in your presence you will cause me to melt

Or say how I felt

How I felt about what?

Don’t say that I did….

I did feel

Not real. Not really real

But I know that I really should be on your side

Out in the open unable to hide

But will I be able to see the dark side of your sun

Or will I be the only one

To shift and change

It is hard for me to move

And the sun to show its backside

Now that’s really unreal

Shifting snow and reversing sun

How can I express my garbled mind at this junction?

Between inability and function

You don’t cause my inability to relate to this hell

Yet you cause me to function as well

You constantly seem to confuse me

Is there some intent to abuse me?

The sun doesn’t heat me too fast

I want this melting feeling to last

I hide a little you hide a little and what do we see

A little of you and me

I tell a great deal you tell a great deal and what can this be

No big deal certainly

For our souls long for the time when our knees knock, our tongues quiver and our hands shake

“To ask if there is some mistake”

To stop by woods and relate

To the deep

 

2-8-1980

Revised 3-14-16

The Light

The light

That slides between the blinds

Cuts across the page

To distort the darkness

The bright

Is different from the dark

The dark being formless

The bright with sharpness

It’s like

The existence between two

People who could be close

But not really

They psych

Play games

Since one person knows

The other won’t play

So neither of them play

And dance alone

But to the same tune

Waiting for the song to finish

 

2-13-1980

Revised 3-11-2016

You Know What I'm Talking About

“You know what I’m talking about

You seem to close up like a bank vault

And won’t let anyone even get close to the door

Because your alarms go off.

You act too superficially.”

                                “So now you’re saying I’m superficial.”

“No, I feel that there are depths within you

But you fear……. oh, I don’t know.”

                                “You don’t know what?”

The silence wasn’t heard by the pair

As their minds exploded with the unsaid 

Saying without speaking

Communicating

In that unknown language of thought

“I just don’t know why you won’t relate.

Perhaps you don’t want to.

I might not be the person you really care for

Maybe we will never be able to understand.

I give, and you take and give nothing in return.

I’m tired of it!”

She stood silent and met his glare for a moment

And then turned away unable to stand his scrutiny.

He chuckled for a second or two.

                                “What so funny?”

“Nothing.”

But it was.

It was all so funny.

She seemed to want to climb out of or knock down

Her wall,

Her problem

Her fear

To shed a tear,

Or some light

Dissolve her fright.

 But,

Again, as usual, she had climbed to the top to look down

And seeing that the world was still around her,

She slapped another row of stones on top,

And eased back down into her prison.

To contemplate….

Why?

 

Written  2-22-1980

Revised 10-5-2020

Mind Games

Often time my mind has wondered

Of fantasy I can’t explain

I’m other beings, other places

Yet my love for you remains

I pass through worlds that exist

Only for my mind’s own games

Past, present and future are worthless

Only my love for you remains

My hope, my joy cannot be found

In other worlds I can’t explain

I find it in your smiling face

And knowing our love is not a game.

 

Written 1978

Revised 3-14-16